You know the scene.  You're rushing through the town, trying to do all the things that need to be done by a certain time and some cheery oick collars you with their clipboard clamped firmly in one hand and a well inked biro in the other!  I usually keep rushing and throw: Sorry, I'm late for the bus!" over my shoulder as I speed by.  However, some step out in front of you when you least expect it and if they start with the stock phrase of:  "Excuse me *madam.  Can I ask you a couple of questions?", don't panic.  No need to batter them over the head with your shopping in an attempt to get away as there is a simple solution.  Smile sweetly and say: "Of course you can."

Immediately, they relax, return your smile and ask a question.  You smile and give your reply.  By now they are beaming and well into their stride so they come at you with the next query.  (I hope you're counting as this question will be number three)!

This is when you say: "I'm sorry but I've answered a couple (i.e. two) questions as requested. Goodbye!" and depart before the look of astonishment has had time to leave their face.  If they shout: "Smarta**e!" at your back as you make your way down the street this gives their 'nice, kind person with a clipboard' image a severe battering and they have to work extra hard at getting another poor fool to fill in their form. Yay!

*'Madam' - (sighs and then begins to snuffle) - I think I'd fill the b****y form in myself if one of them (especially the young handsome males) could bring themselves to call me 'Miss' instead!  :D

I'm soooooooo tired!  However, I have been able to chomp my way through my own homegrown lettuce, radishes and spring onions! Yay!  Needless to say I've lost a few plants; a couple of the vegetable spaghetti plants didn't make it and Mr Pigeon and his entourage had a field day with the sprouts, etc.  However, copious amounts of old computer tape has stemmed their enthusiasm!  The trouble is the tape breaks easily so you have to disentangle it from all the plants it gets wrapped up with! :(  Not to worry - I've still got loads of tape to use up so I can always strand up some more.  I always save the odd cd that arrives in the post and string them up as well to act as another form of deterrent.  However, nothing is that successful as the blighters always seem to find a way of getting their lunch and, with all the computer related objects that are hanging around in the garden, they're probably getting themselves an NVQ in computer programming at the same time! 

Rain!  We have rain!  (Does dance)!  Not only have I managed to collect water but I won't need to spend my evenings watering my plot for a while.  Even the parsnips have started to sprout! Yay!

Highs:  For some strange reason I started thinking about my first job today.  I was 17 and grass-green into the bargain.  The first day went in a whirl but on the second day a new intake of students arrived to begin their course.  My boss had arranged to meet them all in the refectory and I had to go with him to take notes!  He marched down through the aisle and climbed onto the stage and I followed, tripping along in my Mary Quant shoes and sexy, little mini skirt.  He remained standing to deliver his speech to the students and I sat in the chair and surveyed their faces and (er ..... pretended to take notes ... ahem)!  The students were all male and mostly in the age range of 19 to 25!  Oooooh!  And they were all smiling at me!   Without exception every man jack of them had a broad grin on his face.  I have never felt such warmth from any group of people before or since.  Well, I just smiled right back at them!  A couple of months later I was having a quiet chat with one of the students over lunch and I mentioned how touched I had been by their lovely, welcoming smiles because I was sooooo nervous because it was my first job and only my second day at work.  He looked surprised and then mentioned that none of them knew I had only just started the job so they weren't smiling at me for that reason.  Naturally, I asked why they were smiling if that was the case.  Back came the prompt reply, and I even noted the reminiscent glint in his eye, as he floored me with: "Because when you sat down we could see right up your skirt!"  Whoops! :)

Lows:  I've run out of water in the garden and have to carry it over from the rain butts in the house garden!  Tiring work as you can imagine.  I complained to Mr Warren that I had hoped we would have a shower of rain today.  He looked amazed and then said:  "Didn't you have any?  I had a lovely shower of rain where I was working!"  Hmmn!  Well, he p*****g would, wouldn't he?!!!!!!!!!!

Flat out:  Printing off about forty photos for sproglet's portfolio (she's going for an interview for a photography course tomorrow) and hoping that the ink would last!  Needless to say I ran out of paper instead!  Life sucks sometimes! :(

Sproglet  purchased a buy-one-get-one-free collection of Weightwatchers Carrot Cake Slices! Yummy for mummy!  Looking at the packaging I noticed that on the top of the packet and at one end they were described as 6 carrot cake slices.  However, on the other end they were called 6 carot cakes slices - without the extra 'r' so, in order to maintain the belief that I'm losing weight, I opened the packet at the 'r' less end.  Why?  Well, as my rear is my biggest problem, I'm presuming I will end up losing even more weight at the less .... um ....  'r's end! :)

Paul came and helped put the roof on the shed for us! :)  His six year old son came with him and told me about the birthday party he went to for his friend.

The conversation went a bit like this:

O:  "She had a 'magiden' with a purple beard.  And he blewed up balloons and let one off and it flied off all around the room!  It was great fun!"

FJ:  " Gosh!  That sounds really exciting!"

O: "It was! "  He stared at me for all of five seconds and then said: "Are you the biscuit lady?"

FJ: "Yes I am. If  go back to the house shall I see if I can find some biscuits?"

O, nodding: "That would be a good idea!"

FJ: "How old was your friend on her birthday?"

O: "Six!"

FJ:  "Oh!  The same age as you!"  O regarded me with a very serious look on his face and it was apparent I'd made a huge faux pas!

O, in a very disgusted tone of voice: "No!  She's not the same age as me."  He looked at me as if I was  on the brink of lunacy then explained in a very purposeful manner: "I'm an older six than she is!"

FJ, trying hard not to laugh: "Oh!  Sorry, my mistake."

O: "That's alright.  You didn't know!"  Silence for a moment then, with a very cute expression on his face, he said: "Do you think you will be going over to the house?" And just in case I missed his reasoning: "You know ... where the biscuits are!"

ROFL! :D

The garden shed is in place and just needs the roof to be put on.  Tall people please apply to ...............................! 

I managed to sow quite a few rows of veggies, in between helping to put up the shed, but have more to do today.  I've got my *black tomato plants in the greenhouse, along with the cucumbers, peppers, aubergines and the odd lettuce.  The other greenhouse is full of Mr Warren's tomato plants so maybe we'll have a competition as to who can grow the best crops! :)

* Apparently, the Victorians liked to grow these for show so I'm not sure if they will have a good flavour.  I've been told that they (the Victorians) liked to place a bowl of sliced red and black tomatoes on the table as it had a pleasing look to it!  We shall see!  At least we will if the dear things grow! :)

I've planted my lettuces, surrounded by gravel to deter the slugs and snails, and sowed a row of beetroot.  As we've had a nice dollop of rain I didn't have to water any of the plants.  My friend arrived today and was amazed at how much I've managed to get done in the past week, bearing in mind that I was still mending the fence last week!  I'm pleased, not to say astonished, because I only lost a couple of plants and as the dear things have been sitting on staging, in and out of the greenhouse,  since the beginning of April onwards that is quite encouraging.  Soon, much to stegzy's delight, I shall be sowing parsnips! :D  If they're successful perhaps I could include them in his Christmas box instead of the sloe gin! :D:D:D

Trying to get the ground level to put the new shed up is not easy.  Mr. Warren is not helping as he is driving me up the wall!

 Question:  Does the ground settle in time if I place the shed over the grave? Aghhhhhhhhhh

Garden update folks!  I have got the row of runner beans in, the two blocks of sweetcorn, the butternut squash, the vegetable spaghetti and the courgette plants. Also the shallots, leeks and onions and then this evening I put in two rows of sprouts,  and one row of purple sprouting broccoli and one row of cabbages.  This morning I put up a row of pea netting so this evening I sowed mangetout and ordinary peas but I'm now having to gear myself up to go back to do all the watering.  As each full length row is at least twenty feet long  and I have to do it with two watering cans  it  will mean a lot of walking!  (Sighs)  ...  I shall have muscles like Popeye!  (Feels biceps).  (Sobs)  I HAVE got muscles like Popeye! :(